Thursday, December 23, 2010

Enough Of The Lies!

For too long, we here in the Christmas-celebrating American community, have been lied to regarding the number and nomenclature of certain antlered nordic mammals. For a long time, there were eight reindeer: Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Commet, Cupid, Donner, and Blitzen. Then, in a mere marketing ploy gone horribly wrong, a ninth arrived on the scene that we were expected to believe had a nose that somehow glowed brightly enough to pierce an arctic snowstorm. The American citizenry proved itself estraordinarily slow to discomfiture in such widespread acceptance of such pap, an acceptance which has endured for generations.

Enshrined in song, they are known as Rudolph and his eight fellow reindeer pulling Santa's sleigh. To this, I say, "Fiddlesticks!" There are in fact TEN reindeer! Before the introduction of the lantern-nosed Rudolph, there were The Nine: Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Commet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen, and the heretofore unheralded Olive. What's that, you say? You've never heard of Olive, the boisterous and impolite reindeer that was as bottomless a pit of insults as Santa's bag was of toys? Look at the text of the popular hymn again:

Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer, had a very shiny nose.
And if you ever saw it, you would even say it glows.
Olive, the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names!
They never let poor Rudolph join in any reindeer games.

Notice, while The Nine shut Rudolph out of the games, it was only Olive that added insult to injury. While it is lost to the mists of time and forgetfulness, some time ago, a coverup occurred to blot out the existence of Olive.

As nasty as the truth of history sometimes is, I believe it is important to see the world not as we wish it to be but as it is. There are in fact TEN reindeer pulling Santa's sleigh...not nine.

Only when we embrace Truth can we begin to heal and our children sing their songs aright.

Stop the lies.